How long has it been?

            That was the question that sudden came out of my mind when I suddenly found myself looking at this blog earlier this evening. It was as if I was mesmerized. I got blown away by the flow of time that may have passed since the last time i posted something into this tiny corner of the web. Looking back to my previous post, I was about to leave a certain stage, and start my life again in a place i've never thought i'll be living at before. Eight months, surely not a long time span however, has been such an eight months of pure memories.

            How long has it been? How far have I gone? How much have I changed? These few question have, somewhat, took a deep role in me these past months of my life. Perhaps, as if they're the questions I've always been looking for these answers I've had long before I found the place where they supposed to be kept.

            I remember that day; that particular day when I was riding a train back to my home. My heart was wrenched and was trembling in pain. My eyes were hiding tears. But It was me, who decided to move away, do something and build myself back.

            I was right. Who would have thought that after all those sad and lonely nights of missing that person, I'll able to stand up again and smile from the bottom of my heart.

            I got hired in a good company. I met new friends. I got to go in places I've always been wanting to visit. I've had so much memories with the new and people i have on my side. It was life, at its best. as if, I was able to finaly spread the wings that i wasn't able to use back then.

             Two thousand eleven  ended. And since the new year has started, i feel like my life has been too spontaneous. I got promoted into a new position, I met more kind and interesting people, and found myself being independent from anyone. Things do happen for sure. Lately, i'd say that there's a big problem going on within our family. But i know and i'm sure that it'll pass... and everything will be ok.

            How long has it been? Perhaps its actually not about the length of time, but the way i've spent it. :)

            It has already been over a year since i flew away from that place. It has already been over a year since the last time I saw my grandmom, and all the people I adored so much. It has already been over a year since the last time I saw my hometown, the buzzling streets, noisy tricycles, slender sunshine, that old church... and the warm smiles of my town people.

            It has already been a year since I had my own room. Not the room that I can actually call mine, but the room where I can find my real comfort. I miss my bed, I missed my cold pillows and warm blankets. I miss the scent... the special scent I chosed for it. I missed our kitchen... its where me and my grandmom used to talk and spend some time every morning, whenever I got back from work before falling asleep.

            I miss my mug and the special taste of coffee that I used to make whenever I wake up. I missed our dog. I missed those days II tend to play with him. His stinky smell, and his happy actions whenever I shower him. I missed the old tree... that whenever the heat of the summer wind comes, looking up to that old tree brings coolnes.

            I miss them. I miss everything back there. And if there's one wish that'd come true as of this moment, I want to go back... I want to touch and feel everything.

            Since that day, that particular day when I flew away, a lot had happened. I started from dust, met some new friend, had a new work... spent bittersweet summer memories with some special people, I lost a very special person in my life, spent cold christmas alone, welcomed the new year in tears, fought towards life and such.

            One might think i've changed a lot. Maybe in appearance, but not the person inside me. Whenever I look back, i could feel that I really didn't get anything farther since that day. Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

            It has already been a year since the last time I saw that place, and whenever I try to remember them, they still give me warmth in these cold moments; even all that's left are those sweet, sad and fragile memories.