As of now, i couldn't figure out what i'm actually feeling. I'm not so certain if I am so excited or I am so nervous. Yesterday, a very big new has been revealed. Know what? God. I'm the very first one who'll defend my thesis on Wednesday. oops! and that's tommorrow. When i heard my name, i couldn't believe it to myself.

           "ME!?"

           I asked my clasmate if it's really ME and she agreed! Woah Yeah! I mean, that is what i actually want... But as time goes, my heart tremebles faster and faster. I don't know why but i think, despite all of the efforts i gave to make my output better, i think there are still flaws in it...

           God...

           What should i do?

           Anyway, last night, before i set off to bed, i tried to make everything OK with my study. I followed all the rules that Ma'm Kitchie gave us. And then i've realized that the copy i gave to my teacher yesterday is soooooooo much of a bunch of CRAP! haha... that made me ashamed of myself. Wew...

           Medyo mainit pa naman ang ulo sa'men ni Mam ngayon... wehehe... kase naman, we accidentaly broke her table... huhu. we really didn't mean it and the table was really OLD. nagkataon lang na sa'men sya bumigay... haaaaaaaaay

           Today, i'll give my best to finalize everything...

           Konti nalang naman ang kaylangang Ayusin eh...

            Woooooooh!

            Kaya ko toh! ehehe...

            Haia-chan...

            Ganbatte ne! madami nagmamahal se0! ehe...

            Ciao... i'll tell you more kung ano nangyari ok... (^__^)

            I'm back... and right now, i couldn't say i really feel good or something. There are sooooooooooooooo many things happened to me within these past few days. I mean, right now, i feel so "delibitated!" haha! Ok... so where am i gonna start? uhmmmm... uhmmm... ok.

            Seriously, right now, i feel really bad. I caught fever last monday and until now, my troath bugs me so much! D_mn! I didn't expect this to be so painfull but the heck, it keeps on hurting me... (T_T)... i can't even sing because of it... aww.. hate it!

            Then... ok... so the next few things that i'll be saying are somewhat relieving. Haha... it's been days for now that i am exchanging sms with him... who? try to guess. Hehe... I'm very happy and blessed because of that fact. Hopefuly, we'll become closer even in my last days of stay in our school... Haaay nakuh... We agreed that we'll meet sometime that's why right now, i couldn't even think of what am i gonna do during that time come. hehe...

            Next thing is, yesterday... my mom called me. She said that i might not be going back to Japan right after my graduation because i might not find a good job there right now. As we all know, the whole world faces a global crisis right now so i got this feeling that i shouldn't... and yey! That made my day....

            And now...

            The worst thing?

            Lately, i've been sooooooooooooo disappointed by what is happening to our Organization. I mean, what the f*ck! I really love this family and i don't want anything that may break our passion...

            My time has been crippled and halfed because of our rehearsals but yeah, i couldn't even complain because honestly speaking, i love what i am doing... and as far as my awareness goes, i love the family that i met long ago...

            All i am hoping for is that, we'll be back on our old way... i mean, happy, united and... working passionately altogether... hmmmm

            Recently, i got so busy with my Thesis as well... because we're finalizing everything right now! Yey! Oh My GOD! I just can't believe that i'm about to finish this? Nahhhhhh... i'm so proud.. haha/.

            Hn... so for now, that's it and that's everything... take care (^__^)

            All right. So this evening, i woke up around 7'30 pm. Yep. That's right. I'm not illusioning nor halucinating... LOL... I'll tell you why... Today, we went on a distant barrio to attend the fiest of "Sn. Ildefonso". That place is where my ancestors from  my mom's side originated... We do have many relatives at that place that's why... "OH MY!" unti now, i'm so full...  I'm a type of person who loves eating right? So i won't loose this chance to taste many delicacies.. haha! ! !

            Well, when we're on our way home, haay nakuh! I was sooo nervous kase he's drunk and he drive recklessly... know what? I found comfort through singing. Yep! Habang nagkakagulo sila, i sang silently on my own pace... that's it... and for me, that's everything.

            When we got home, i suddenly felt dizzy and sleepy... then i slept and as i am telling you earlier, i woke up again... I felt something is missing... i felt really uncomfty~. I dunno why... i decided to change my clothes to a more comfortable one and decided to go out of my room. Turned the TV on and watched the teleserye that i'm watching for days right now. haha.

            And here i am now, typing this post...

            Haaaays.. i feel really at ease right now. Parang kahit medyo madami pa akong kaylangan gawin, i can do them easily because i've planned them that's why medyo alam ko na ang output ko. hehe...

            So...

            Ughhhh...

            My stomach aches. hehe..

            haay  nakuh! Katakawan kase.. hehe

            Right now, as the cold rush of wind softly damps my skin, i am thinking of you... The stars are shining... they're trully forever, it seems. They're beautiful and fantastically gorgeous... How are you? How are you doin? Do you see me from your place? Have you done all of the things you ever wanted to do before your time run out? I hope so...

            It has been over a month since you've finally said goodbye to us. We were really saddened at that time. As if a part of us was suddenly removed, making us uneasy, tearful and in pain. Honestly speaking, you're one of the people that i'm really missing of right now. It is as if you've been a big part of my wholeness. Through the short moments that we've been together, i realized how well you are as a person... You're one of a kind... and that's what i'll be missing of from you...

           People cross our paths at a countless times. And i'm so thankful that once, in this long and winding life i have, you've crossed my path and had the chance to meet you.

            Time really runs so fast...

            As if it was just yesterday when i saw you smiling back at me... As if it was just yesterday when i heard your laugh and your countless stories just around my corner... How can i express what i feel? Even though i could say that i can now face this world without you, i can never erase you from my dearest memories. I cried,.. and cried... behind these smiles... without letting anyone noticing my hidden tears...

            And now, instead of saying goodbye, let me thank you for everything; for all the things you've done just to make us happy; for all the advice i recieved from you; from all the hugs, the kisses and the memories you left behind... thank you...

           Its true... that when there are many people who knows you, its really hard for someone like me to shout what i really want to say... but i do hope that through this simple message, i could say whatever i want to say to you...

           You'll be on my prayers... You'll be on my heart forever... Though i'm not really sure about how much time will i wait for us to meet again, you'll continuosly live forever inside me... promise...

            you're wholeness taught me of something that i will keep until the end.

            Tonight, as you part from this place, may i now give you my deepest love and mourning. As beautiful as this midnight sky, you'll now become one of the stars that guide me and show me something beautiful, despite the darkness that the sky reveals...

            I'll miss you...

           Take care of yourself...

            Until next time my dear friend...

            i Love you...

            "nasaan na ang putu-putu-bumbong!" (T___T)