Last night, i dreamt of being with the one that i love. and because of that, I felt bad and lonely in someways..I miss him.but no matter what, i cant do anything.

            The sun was still hiding the time i woke up this morning. Its raining. But its not the rain that i have been waiting to come. Its impossibe. That's why i find the things that i have today as important as i could because i have learned that i should not dwell from my past for i need to do my best to the things that i do at the present time.

            My family and friends are the things that can make me keep living today. I may disappear and be away from them. And no matter how painful i  cry, i may not be even go back again anymore. I always say to myself that im strong but when things get so confusing, i noticed that i have been always relying on the people around me. Even so, when i am protecting something, that people say "I Don't Deserve", i do my best to become strong in order to keep every single thing that i have started.

            In order to keep walking forward, and facing each morning that awaits me, i deeply say to myself that "I'm Ok" no matter how sad or painful i feel. Because the more i believe that i am fine, the more i become strong. For me, all of us always search for our reflection. We always look for someone having same characteristics that we have. And because of that, little by little, we forget the uniqueness that each and everyone of us holds.

            I can't be contented on the things that I already have. I always wish for things that I dont deserve. I always think that I am better that anyone else. When I saw a person worse off than me, I feel relieved. And when I saw someone happier than me, I suddenly become impatient. Many times, when I make mistakes, I always search for things to be blamed. But even so, no matter how things become heavier, i don't forget the fact that because i learned to love is that I'm loved. More so, i learned to forgive because i was forgiven.  

Hi there,

               How are you doin? i hope your still smiling like  on the days  we spent together back to that time...uhmm, nothing much important why i wrote this letter to you. its just that  I really want to thank you for all the things that you've done for me. Do you still remember them? I hope so. This morning, i woke up lately and learned that its raining. Suddenly, i thought of you...Back to the time when we first met, i knew it. Though your face looks so abashed and ashamed, there was the warmth hidden on it. Even on the day when you told me about your love, i felt that it was for eternity. But why life is so cruel? Why time needs to flow so fast? Its been awhile since i saw you. From that door, i saw you smiling...But your eyes were tearful...I have not understood it though. 

              Do you still remember the flowers that you gave? the chocolates that we ate together? the sofa where we used to sit together? the movie we watched? and yeah! the river where everything started? i kept them sincerely, closest to my heart.

              Thank you...for everything...Just staying at my side, im happy...Just knowing that your still there for me, i can say that im the luckiest human living in this world. Just believing that you always care for me, praying for me, crying for me, im so glad that god gave us the chance to know each other....

               Thank you for not going away from me. Thank you for your patience. Though you have been humiliated many times because of me; though you have been hurt because of me, you never treated me as a burden...Thank you for never giving up on me...i want to see you again but even so, i cannot do anything. all i see right now are just lights and shadows...but because i hear your voice, i always know that im still alive...

              And now i know that you have done enough for me, i can now sleep peacefully at your warm arms...i wont be away from you anymore, cause i will always live within you...

                  Another 2 days have passed having no posts in this small pinch page of WwW. Uhmm, its just that...uhmm, wLa nman. GuMala lang...This morning, me and my mom went to the immigration office at Nagoya (Again?) and yatta! my papers were out but i dont still know if i could freely go home nah...they said, its another matter so whatever happens, babalitaan ko kaU.^ - ^

                 Yesterday, an officer from the immigration office sent us the postcard that will confirm us about my papers and excitedly, we went this morning to manage it. And surprizingly, it was different from what we have expected. As early as now, i am expected to go back here again early next year for the final process of the matters that we are arranging and yet, i dont feel so happy about it. Meaning, sooner or later (whatever!), i will be having a so-called "double citizenship"...I don't have any idea 'bout it...its just that i will be a permanent resident here and permanent resident there (anu daw!?? haay naku, bsta gnun!).uhhhm, Yah! Japanese and Filipino citizen in short. Many might say that i am so lucky but honestly, i am so confused right now...

               having it doesn't mean that i can do everything i want...it doesn't mean that i am so lucky that everyone must go the way i want to be...nope..impossible! Having it will give me so many responsibilities, somehow, doubts rather... But! i dont want to think much about it right now because, im enjoying my time, being myself, and being a friend to anyone..haha!

                Yesterday, i met some of our kababayan here, 2 of them are KABALEn (From pampanga too...) But are half-japanese too...hihihi....they are the son's and daughters of the wealthiest and most luxurious filipinos living here...nah! im just kidding...They're children of my mom'S friends...and they want to meet me, they said...   uhmm, fans? aha! They are also same age as me...and we discussed many things...uhmm, wLa lang...ndagagan nnMan fans cLub koh! eheh               

                  And yap! a big hug and warmest kiss to my sempai! He called me last night right after i moved my things to my new room.,.somehow attic-room, and its cool...may bintana! haha, kita ko lahat...even my sempai's room from afar is visible...na-iimagine ko 2Loy, the reason why he called me is that, nkita nya ako kgabi..woooh, kinikiLig nnMan akoooh! aha...oi, un Lang nMan nangYari saken ngaUn...oh yan arkhaye! meron na ako new post ha! oi, superFriendship...kainggit nMan kaU, magkokorean na nyan kaU, ako Lng naiba..hah,.,gudLuck sa lessons nyu ha...ja! miss U oL!

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