As my day ends, as the lights were turned low, as my eyes close, an unexpected predicament has happened. I was about to end my day, and prepare myself for a new boring day ahead. However, i suddenly heard a familiar sound. My mobile phone was ringing.

            "At this time?" i thought. Who would call me at this time? My heart was trembling fast at that moment, but i decided to face my fear. I answered it and i could say that that call has been a wonderful one.

            The voice of that woman is so calm and familiar. Our conversation went really well and after that, i just found myself sitting at the edge of my bed, speechless. I was so shocked. It was really unexpected.

            I became so happy and thankful at that time. ITS A MIRACLE. that's what i thought. Like few hours before that happened, i was talking to my friend about leaving just incase i haven't found a job.

            But i guess, that won't really happen now. Why? Because of that call -that GREATEST CALL. Now, who really was the person who called me? Yeah. She's from my previous employer. She's from the place that i've really missed. And she was telling me that i can always come back whenever i want.

            No one can actually describe how i feel as of this moment. I'm tearfully happy. This is the greatest call i've had recently.

            Well, its definitely been awhile since i've posted something here... i guess? a couple of days ago? LOL. well, to all those wonderin (if there are any..haha), i'm still here at the same city. I mean, i didn't moved at all. The same place. The same stage and the same situation. I really don't want to say that i'm gettin' tired but its like i'm gettin' used to it... but i know, it's unnecessarry. lol

            Well, as what i've just realized... "It seems that i can't find myself from the map now... and i gotta do something to raise my flag on top again." It also seems like i've been aiming for this thing for quite sometime but nothing has really happened and now, as fast as a lightning... i've been strucked by a volt. I want to do something immediately.

            I need to get out of this city before the sunset.

            That might give me a couple of pain. That might give me a bunch of challenges. That might bring me rainy days once again. But right now... as of this moment, i don't want to think about all those blues. All i want is to move forward. Out of this city. Running forward into this straight and long hi-way of life.

              Hoping that there are no traffic jams ahead ^_^

            I really don't understand how i feel towards myself and the people around me these past few days. And as time goes by, it keeps gettin' vague and saturated. When i wake up each morning, all i do is to feel the changing wind, look up to the sky, smile and think of those who endlessly give me strength to continue this life that i've chosen. Over and over, those are the everyday banalities that i've been doin' since that day. Then, whenever i look at myself at the mirror, i ask myself "Why can't i be someone who can heal hearts?". That might sound absurd but that's how i feel, and that's how i want things to be.

            IMPOSSIBLE. i guess.

           The wind slowly becomes colder and colder as days go by. And slowly, the reasons left that i still have to embrace the decision i've made a long time ago starts to fade one by one too. The changing season reminds me of one certain thing.

            "That's life, and it will surely continue no matter what happens."

            I don't want to be someone who depends on everyone. I don't want to hurt anyone as well. All i want is to live this life with no worries, no hatred, and lastly, no regrets.

            Like the changing seasons, PEOPLE changes as well... and for me, that would be one of the hardest parts in this Life. No matter how hard you try to become yourself, there will always be some people who'll understand and walk beside you, and some who'll think differently, put you out of the line and consider you out of their visions.

            Some,  who despite of their busy lives, didn't forget to remind me that no matter what happens, they'll still walk with me on this path... and some, who just let their body float with the rush of emotions and uncertainties, embraced their beliefs and faced a new phase of life with their own strength, leaving all distorted memories of the past behind. I admire them all... holding their decisions firm and strong.

            Unlike me, who really don't know how to walk upright with my head held high; who don't really understand the things which are important and not; who despite of people's ignorance and unacceptance, tried to embrace, understand and lived like nothing has really happened... leaving me like a fool, lost in a middle of a buzzling crowd of a strange city.

            I wonder if someone is looking for me?

            I wonder if there's still a place for me?

            In a non-existant place, despite of everything... i still want to smile, think that my own world is ever beautiful... and stand on my own feet... as i am...

            It was around 7:03 am when i was awaken by the loud sound coming from my mobile fone. Geee. I suddenly remembered that i set my alarm on but i slept really late last night. Then, i just read a message from a friend that our scheduled meeting for today won't take place for some reason. I didn't really know how to react. If i'll smile because i'll be free for today, or get upset for i cancelled my appointment the other day just to be with them and then... and then! woah! Can somebody chill me out!? hahahahah

            Anyway, after that, i never really had plans to go out but... i dunno if it was just me or... after i listened to Namie Amuro's Baby Don't Cry, i suddenly stood up, got my clothes changed and went to a company which i used to apply (but unfortunately failed) to re-apply. lol well, i don't really know what came into my mind but i jut found myself there, taking the exams and listening to some live calls,..

            Anyway... i just want you guys to know that... "i failed."

           LOL! Yep. i'm not kiddin'. Despite the experiece i already had from my previous employer, my qualifications still didn't meet the standards of the company. Well i'm not disappointed at all... because i know, "at the very least... i tried."

             "at the very least..." perhaps is my phrase for the day. When i suddenly realized that, my day started to shine more. LOL

            Well... have you guys thought of your "at the very least..." stuff?

            Well, here are some of mine...

            "at the very least..."

            -i tried to apply
            -i got out of our house and saw the beauty of the outside world! haha
            -i had a working experience...even if it ended too soon
            -i know how to forgive... that's why :P
            -i don't forget people, though most of the times, they tend to forget me. XD

            well, those are just some and i still have a bunch of stuffs like that which made me feel so blessed and everything! hahaha. That's all for now. XD